The day after Kobe Bryant passed away, I wrote him a letter. With the NBA season restarting today, I decided to open that letter and read what I wrote. I would like to share that with you:
I woke up this morning full of optimism; because I knew what happened yesterday was a bad dream. I sat on the sofa like I do every other weekday morning to turn on “First Take”, only to see Stephen A. talking about how great you were… It really happened, you’re gone. My heart dropped again as I turned off the Tv. I cant take it anymore. I can’t watch another news report or listed to another analyst talk about you. I just cant, not right now at least.
When 9/11 happened, I remember where I was and what I was doing. Yesterday was like one of those moments where I will never forget where I was and what I was doing. I was in the garage with my family as we prepared to work out together. We were listening to music on my Bluetooth speaker but the music kept being interrupted by text messages. I kept ignoring them. But then my phone rings and it was my dad calling, followed by a text saying, “Did you hear about Kobe?” Then I checked my phone and I had about 7 different messages saying stuff like, “Please not Kobe”, “Did you hear about Kobe?’ and so on…. I immediately checked TMZ ’cause that’s what you do to confirm a news story and it said that you died. I still didn’t believe it. I thought it was a hoax, but it wasn’t, it was real. I told my wife but she thought I was kidding, until she saw my eyes well up with tears. We both immediately hugged and began to weep deeply. These are just my random thoughts and im sorry that there’s no rhyme or reason. SO please forgive me in advance for being random and emotional.
Ive seen so many people on the internet comment, “Why are so many people so hurt over the death of a celebrity that they didn’t even know personally?” But for me, you weren’t another celeb and you weren’t just another basketball player. YOU WERE KOBE BEAN BRYANT! I am just a few years younger than you but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I feel like ive seen you grown up from a teenage boy that went to the nba from high school to a top 5 all time NBA retired legend. I watched you chase Jordan’s legacy. I watched you date and eventually marry Vanessa. I watched you have your kids. I watched you become the best player in the NBA. I watched you deal with the mistakes in your marriage and overcome them. Ive watched you become the black mamba. I saw you win championships, 5 to be exact. Ive probably watched your last game over 20 times. I cant believe youre gone man. My first email address was jobebryant2002. People would always tell me that I looked like you. Seeing you post-basketball was amazing, because you started to let down the walls of competition and you began to show the world what everyone in LA already knew about you.
I used to see highlights of you playing in high school. I didn’t know you were at the time, but I remember you having this undeniable swagger about you. It’s like as if you knew you were the best, or were going to be the best. From that moment on, I was a fan.
I remember when you got drafted and then traded to the Lakers. I was so hype! My friends and I went to the store and got newspaper clippings of you and we started making collages. I remember watching the lakers play at the forum and even then, fans used to chant, “KOBE KOBE KOBE..” You didn’t play that much yet, but when you would, there was moment of amazing. I remember when you went to the prom with Brandy. I remember thinking that was super cool. I remember when you airballed 3 times in the playoffs vs Utah. I remember looking at your face and although you looked embarrassed, you looked so determined to get back to work during the offseason. I remember when you tried to be a rapper. Ill never forget that hook on the song you did with Tyra Banks; “K.O.B.E. I L.O.V.E you….” That song still makes me laugh to this day.
There are so many things I could say. But my heart is so broken. I feel like a part of me died inside. You taught a whole generation of hoopers (and people in general) the mamba mentality. Every time I think of you, I cry. My cousins and family have been taking this so hard. I don’t even know how I can go back to watching basketball again this season. I don’t want to hear people talk about you, it hurts too much. I haven’t listened to sports radio or watched tv because I don’t want to accept that youre gone Kobe!
I tried to emulate you on the court, and I want to emulate you in life; your drive, your passion, your inspiration. The way you loved your wife, and your girls makes me want to be a better father and husband. I don’t know how to move forward. I remember that game that you tore your Achilles, YOU WALKED BACK ON THE FLOOR AND MADE TWO FREE THROWS TO WIN THE GAME!!!! Who does that?! Ive never seen anyone love anything more than you loved basketball.
Kobe, I know youll never read this, but I want you to know that the world wont be the same without you. You left a lasting impact. People are hurting, devastated without you. Im so so so sorry that this happened to you and your baby girl. I want you to know that the city of LA will always hold down your legacy, we will always hold down your wife vanessa! We will protect her and honor her. We will always watch out for Natalia, Bianka and Capri as if they were our own kids. The city of LA will never let anyone take your place. This was your city. You stayed loyal to us and we will stay loyal to you. You gave me so many great memories and I thank you for that. Thank you for never cheating the game. Thank you for never load managing. Thank you for always playing through injuries. Thank you for beating the Celtics in the finals. Thank you for inspiring us to have a mamba mentality. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for inspiring me to play ball and to train kids. I have a tat on my arm with your jersey #8 and #24. Mamba forever! These young kids will never know what it was like seeing you play in person. You were the best! You will always be synonymous with LA and we will never forget you. I hate that it had to be you Kobe. You were my hero! I don’t know how to move on but I know the “Mamba” would want me to, us to. SO thank you kobe. I’ll see you on the other side. #mambaforever
